wendell berry passage

in berry's novel 'Jayber Crow' the central figure jayber has been thinking that he was called into pastoral ministry. he finds himself feeling a little undone by the loose ends he finds in his life and in faith. he has a lot of questions and a handful of answers.

he goes to speak with one of his teachers a man who was called Old Grit behind his back by the students.

"So," I said, "I reckon what it all comes down to is, how can I preach if I don't have any answers?"

"Yes, Mr. Crow," he said, "How can you?" He was not one of your frying size chickens.

"I don't believe I can," I said, and felt my skin turn cold, for I had not even thought that until then.

He said, "No I don't believe you can." And we sat there and looked at each other again while he waited for me to see the next thing, so he would not have to tell me: I oughtn't waste any time resigning my scholarship and leaving Pigeonville. I saw it soon enough.

I said, "Well," for now I was ashamed, "I had this feeling maybe I had been called."

"And you may have been right. But not to what you thought. Not to what you think. You have been given questions to which you cannot be given answers. You will have to live them out--perhaps a little at a time."

"And how long is that going to take?"

"I don't know. As long as you live, perhaps."

"That could be a long time."

"I will tell you a further mystery," he said, "it may take longer."