ann lamott defines grace

a. lamott is always good on grace.

she defines grace this way: "Grace means you're in a different universe from where you had been stuck, when you had absolutely no way to get there on your own."

the older i get the more grace means to me. i liken it to seeing more clearly amid distractions. there are plenty of distractions inside me and outside me that hide the truth. the truth about grace needs to be experienced. a definition needs to become a description. a dogma needs to be translated into biography. theology must become experience or it is just a rumor.

there may be too many rumors and not enough stories being written.

there may be too many things we don't really know that someone else seems to know.

are we living too vicariously?

we are unstuck by the gospel.

we have a new universe to inhabit.

we are given a gift.

? a sign

noah saw a rainbow.

moses encountered a burning bush.

abraham packed his bags after a promise.

hannah discovered peace.

gideon keeps bargaining with fleece.

mary treasured the gift in her heart.

paul was knocked off his horse, blinded, with dust in his mouth.

and i saw tom waits...

i don't know if it was a 'sign' but it had been a point of laughter between my son and i. sometimes when we would talk about seeing the local rock icon, in the back of my head i quipped and laughed it would be a 'sign.' i was in the mood for one. who wouldn't like a sign from heaven when wrestling with a decision?

much to my chagrin during the christmas holidays we were out doing some gift buying and i looked up and within a few feet - there he was. our eyes met. as he passed i looked back at my son and my wife, and my son saw him also. he looked at me in disbelief. it had happened. we saw together at practically the same time something completely unexpected, even if we had laughed about it several times. we looped around, now following my wife, to see him again.

what did it mean?

was it a sign?

i have been preoccupied of late with discernment, and even more with direction. we have been wanting to know what to do next in our lives. i have gazed at rainbows, searched for bushes on fire, reread promises, coveted peace, tried some fleece, wondered what to carry in my heart, and have been hoping a message could come that would knock me off my horse. i am captivated by transcendence and immanence at the same time. a 'sign' would be nice.

can i be one of those people?

why can't i get a 'sign' that would inspire?

so we spend almost a year laughing and talking about seeing waits and finding him in sonoma county - the way the character waldo is found in the books i used to sit down with my kids. where's waldo? there he is. where's tom? there he is. and when i saw him i tried so hard to remain calm and still as if it were common to practically run into or over a legend while out shopping for the holidays.

did it mean anything?

do i want it to mean something?

i cannot believe it...i saw an icon.