walk or fly

on a day when i feel uninspired i refuse not to be proactive.

being proactive means turning on music and probably the volume, it means digging through books, sometimes diving online, often it means coffee, maybe a used bookstore, or most recently it could mean going to the fuller seminary library.

it is difficult to be a pastor who feels uninspired when the masses expect and sometimes demand expertise, motivations, passion, high flying exegesis that feels like the trail of a narrative; someone who walks on water without being pretentious, someone who is eloquent, caring, steadfast, and can tell a good joke.

i had that commom frustrating sense of being uninspired so i proactively headed for fuller looking for something that touched on the wonder of God in the wondrous glow of a manger scene - when God became human flesh.

there is a point in john's gospel in chapter one where it speaks of those who believe in the "Word" that dwells among us (pitched his tent), as the children of God. and the story of a child in a christmas pageant provided the inspiration and made it into my message.

"A little girl dressed as an angel in a Christmas Pageant was told to come down the center aisle by the director. The child said, 'Do you want me to walk or fly?'"

her imagination caught my attention.
wonder added a dimension to her experience and might be able to add something into our experience. wonder has a capacity to transform.

christmas without wonder is a lonely, sad, commercialized experience.

wonder has a place in the life of a believer.

it is the wonder of God working in the world, in our hearts, and entering the world and our believing hearts that provides an inspirational truth. this is what the angels were singing about, what the shepherds believed, what mary treasured in her heart, and what amazed the people. God with skin on, born in a barn, and the whole scene is covered in wonder.

i want to fly.

i don't want to be someone who meets expectations.
i don't want to be the pastor everyone dreams of.
i don't want to be the buzz of a crowd.

i want to fly.